“You Decorated My Life” is not what I want to hear when Zlatan scores

Sweden’s getting better with different types of restaurants and foods, but they still haven’t mastered the Sports Bar. We have a chain of Sports Bars in Stockholm with the usual unsatisfying high-priced food  you would expect from a typical sports bar, but these places are only a third full of lonely people eating buffet pancakes and burgers while watching Florida golf with a foot of snow outside. (Hmm…. pancakes at a Sports Bar…. there’s one problem right there.)

But after spending my lunch in this Sports Bar yesterday, I’ve come to the conclusion that the main problem may be the music. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to drink my beer and watch the football game with Neil Diamond singing in the background. It just doesn’t seem to fit.

To make it worse, the follow-up to Neil was “Islands in the Stream,” that old early 80s hit by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. It’s hard to sail away with you Kenny when soccer goals are being scored on one screen and hoops are being dunked on another. If I were picking a soundtrack to a sports movie, it would not involve Dolly Parton (well, maybe “Jolene” for a boxing scene). If I were picking a theme song for a baseball player to walk out to, it wouldn’t be Neil Diamond’s “Song Song Blue.”

Let’s get rid of the pancakes and pump in some rockin’ music and see if that improves the situation. Otherwise, Swedish Sports Bars, you gotta know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run a pizza place instead.