Life in the Land of the Ice and Snow
Infiltrating Sweden one cinnamon bun at a time
One of my friends is working at a company currently planning the annual Christmas party. She says that last week, the CEO of the company walked up to the woman in charge, annouced that he needed an animatronic reindeer with snow showering around it, and then walked away. If I were the CEO of a … Read more
Jacket for sale – $10. — Message from Woman: I’m interested. I’d like to try it on. Me: Ok, here’s my address. (I write address). Woman: I’ll get back to you tomorrow. — next day — Woman: Is the jacket still there? Me: Yes. Woman: Can we meet at the Central Station? Me: No. The … Read more
I looked up reviews on a children’s activity park in Italy, but everything was in Italian so I had to use Google Translate. I don’t know why this person only gave this place 2 stars. It sounds pretty interesting!
These job ads get more specific every day. Today’s copywriting ad states that they would prefer an applicant who is really into chainsaws. If I come dressed as this guy, do you think I’ll get the job?
Every time I read a job ad that includes any mention of “stakeholders,” I just think of an angry mob chasing Dracula and then I forget what the job was about.
While waiting in line at the grocery store, I spotted the magazine rack, which is pretty much what one would expect in Sweden:
I never read the context of these articles. I pretend they are direct questions posted to me and then I answer them. On to the next headline…
In my old hometown newspaper from Texas, there is an article this week about a sophomore student in high school asking the School Board to remove the ban on boys wearing earrings in school. I have tried to explain to my Swedish husband that when I went to school in Texas, you could not dye … Read more
A family member posted a recipe today for a Pinapple pie. The recipe was listed as being “Johnny Cash’s Mother’s Recipe.” Why would this make the pie any better? As far as I know, Johnny Cash’s mother was not a famous cook. Also, Johnny Cash did not always look the picture of great health or … Read more
This past weekend, I took a shortcut past a brand new tram stop that had not yet opened. A very confused looking woman asked me in Swedish when the next tram was coming. I explained to her, also in Swedish, that the stop would not open until the next day, as it was a new … Read more
Orienteering has been the theme for my son’s gym class the past few weeks. Today he had an assignment to find his way from his school to a place about 2 and a half miles away. So of course, we showed him how to use the Uber app on his phone.
Another trip to Italy coming up this fall. What do you think of my itinerary? We can start at the Egizio Museum, have a coffee at the Piazza, swing by the GATES OF HELL and maybe round up the day at the cinema?
My son had a good dentist appointment this week and the dentist gave him a new toothbrush when he left. He took it out of the wrapper and slowly ran his fingers up and down, over the top. “This is so soft. It’s like when I touch your toothbrush. It’s soft under my fingers. My … Read more
When I fell off my moped this weekend and ripped up my jeans, both of my sons said, “Well, now you’ll be in fashion.” I saw this ad today on our neighborhood sale group for someone selling jeans. It translates to “Jeans with tears, completely NEW” I guess you would have to emphasize that they … Read more
I haven’t been writing much lately as I don’t have time between having accidents, putting on bandages and bleeding everywhere. Also, wearing a bandage on your face really brings your self-confidence down. Speaking of that, why did all my appointments and meetings have to be scheduled last week when I was forced to wear a … Read more
Today I learned that you can’t jump a curb full speed with your bicycle if you’re a 42-year old with bad coordination and a history of extreme clumsiness. In my head, I thought, if you just believe in yourself, you can do anything you put your mind to. Nope. So now I have a busted … Read more
Boy 1: Are you ok with guacamole on your tacos? Boy 2: You don’t seem to understand the meaning of tacos. With tacos, you can add what you want – meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato… Boy 1: Yeah, but would you eat guacamole? Boy 2: I could do it if necessary, but I just don’t see … Read more
Our new dishwasher is too complicated for me. We had our old dishwasher replaced after it finally refused to wash the top level of dishes. It had been hanging on for a few years, through duct tape on the outside handle to superglue on the spinning arm, but it just couldn't take the barrage of … Read more
“Well kids, they might be chips and they might be cobras. How about a nice apple instead?”
