Life in the Land of the Ice and Snow
Infiltrating Sweden one cinnamon bun at a time
Our Internet was out for 3 days. 3 Days!!! In that time, I’ve read two books, finished a video game, cleaned the apartment spotless and done a lot of projects that have been piling up. And now the Internet is back. Ah…. Already clocking hour 2 of Facebook and Reddit. Back to the fake world.
My husband and I will be staying in a hotel this weekend. I was just looking over what the room has to offer when I noticed this: “Gäster har tillgång till kaffe- och tebryggare och smink/rakspegel.” (Guests have amenities such as coffe/tea maker and makeup/shaving mirror.) A mirror??!! This is the best hotel ever! I’ve … Read more
My husband and kids just called to say that when they crossed the road in front of our apartment building, there was a large moose! Obviously there are moose in Sweden, but usually never in the city area. We are fairly close to a nature reserve, but I’ve never seen one there or in our … Read more
Found a list of Swedish superstitions on The Local. I don’t care for this one. (It might help to add that my name is Heather.)
The Swedish National Food Agency has confirmed that anal secretions from the beaver can be used to provide a taste similar to vanilla in baked goods and sweets Rest of article here – http://www.thelocal.se/50250/20130915/ I currently import vanilla from the states. I will continue to do so.
The reason I’ve never gotten a pedicure is because the one time I tried to book one here, I accidently booked a “fotvård,” which is like foot care for people with problem feet. The girl came in and said, “your feet seem just fine. I don’t think you need this.” But I pretended I knew … Read more
I realized today while asking my sons and their friends to help me with the groceries, is that the older the kids get, the more stuff they can do! Now it’s the groceries, but later it will be building furniture, turning over the mattresses, carving canoes, building us extra rooms, digging a moat, fighting off … Read more
In Swedish, the word for gums is tandkött, which translates to “tooth meat.” For some reason, this really bothers me. I can’t stand to hear things like, “When you brush, make sure you brush against the tooth meat.” Gums sound pink and rubbery. Tooth meat sounds ground up and bloody. I just can’t get used … Read more
There was a story in the paper today about someone who had modified a coffee machine in the Ukraine to serve Vodka. Of course it’s been stopped now and the police are hunting for the person responsible. My thoughts were, “If I don’t trust the coffee and milk that comes from the vending machine, why … Read more
Went to see some castles yesterday. Yep, that’s what you do here in Europe when you’re bored. There’s always a few castles somewhere. These were pretty nice. One had been converted into a hotel I can’t afford and I have no idea what was happening with the other, but it was much smaller. There was … Read more
I recently started thinking about something that has bothered me ever since I moved to Sweden: They call chips – Nachos. Just chips.. no cheese.. NACHOS ARE CHIPS WITH MELTED CHEESE! Thank you for listening to my terrible problems in Sweden.
NO I DIDN’T! It’s those meddling kids! Honestly, this wouldn’t be such a bother, but I’ve been getting comments from friends on their Spotify that say, “Heather’s been listening to Pokémon’s ‘Double Trouble.’
I blame my kids for this nonsense. I’m going to have to get them their own account. This is getting way too embarassing:
President Obama is visiting Stockholm today. The newspapers have some basic details, but don’t have enough information to print. Earlier this week (desperate to report something) they printed a diagram of his car and motorcade. What I find very funny is the picture where they have to compare the size to …. a Volvo, of … Read more
There’s a ski hill in my neighborhood. I’ve been staring at it for 4 years now and wondering what it looks like on top. I’ve never been skiing, so I climbed it last Friday to check it out. Not very impressed.
Rain is God’s way of saying, “You are way too lazy to water those plants on your balcony.”
It is now the beginning of drunk moose season here in Sweden. The first article appeared in the paper yesterday. This time of year, the apples on the trees start to turn a bit rotten, which are overeaten by moose who then get completely wasted and tear up people’s yards (much like the upcoming Popaganda … Read more
Ever since my unemployment, I have become hooked on British mystery shows. So far, haven’t found an ad that hires for that, but in case anyone out there is reading this – I can usually solve the crime by the last 15 minutes of the show. Plus I know what DS means. (Also adding a … Read more
If you check the Swedish news carefully, you will start to notice an alarming number of stories about recent beaver attacks. They’re coming for us, people. Stay sharp and don’t carry any wooden weapons!
I was in the grocery store the other day when a man walked from the outside up to the cash register to show a banana to the cashier. He then put it in his back pocket and began to shop. It took me a second to realize that he was telling her that this banana … Read more