Life in the Land of the Ice and Snow
Infiltrating Sweden one cinnamon bun at a time
Tried to take Velveeta cheese on an airplane. Got pulled over by security. Velveeta is neither a solid or a liquid. It is not cheese, but a cheese product. Once I explained that it’s yellow gold over in Sweden and I needed it to make rotel dip, the fellow Texan security guard let me through … Read more
A few weeks ago, I scheduled a full body massage before a flight. I thought it would be relaxing. What I didn’t factor in was how much preparation I would have to do so I could feel comfortable with someone massaging me. I waited to take my shower until an hour before leaving so I … Read more
My husband sometimes gets compliments on the way he dresses from our male friends when we are in the states. They say, “See, you dress so cool. They have such better clothes in Europe. I could look cool, but they just don’t have that kind of stuff here.” To which my husband replies, “I bought … Read more
Our internet radio station starting running these American Public Service announcements between songs. I think that’s going to be it for this station. This is something we just don’t have in Sweden. I think it’s because the government assumes we are smart enough to not start fires and to read. (I will say they don’t … Read more
Stuffed animals work way cheaper than actors. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwiMzwBcKVU&w=560&h=315]
I’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes trying to decide the best use of my time today. Options are watching t.v., taking a shower with coffee (tastes better in the shower), or playing the arcade machine (yes we have one in our home). But instead, I sit here not being able to decide what to … Read more
Who put blue handprints all over the kitchen? Was it you? “No.”
My 6 year old told me a secret about his friend’s mother. He was hesitant to tell me at first and made me promise not to say anything. He looked uncomfortable so I waited for him to whisper the horrible news: “Her butt fell off.”I can only imagine what they are saying about me. I … Read more
When I walk with a closed umbrella, I like to pretend its my sword. Watch out !
At the moment, we are on vacation in Texas. Here is what happened last year when we went on vacation in Texas. FIRE ANTS! [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QkCxPHZP6E&w=560&h=315]
My Swedish husband had a great accent when we first met. When we went back to Texas on vacation, everyone would ask where he was from. We (he) got free desserts from waitresses that thought the accent was cute and wanted to impress him. It was so much fun. But after a couple of years, … Read more
I made my husband eat alligator when he visited me in Texas. He made me eat snails when I visited him in Europe. True love.
On one of our Texas trips, we were invited to a 3 year old’s birthday party. This party was being held by the cowboy who lives across the way. There was a bonfire, beer and music. I didn’t see much of the 3 year old. We left when it got rowdy. During the night we … Read more
We have an electric scale at home that’s hooked up to the computer. We’ve had this scale for 3 years. It’s nice because it charts your weight fluctuations so you can see how things are going. My husband was looking through the last 3 years on his chart the other day and noticed that for … Read more
That’s right, I not only write, I make captivating, Oscar-worthy short films. This is the terrifying 1 minute, 47 second story of a woman tortured by a strange visitor to her home. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y21qXooXb4U&w=560&h=315]
Upon returning from Texas each year, we are full of stories that no one in Sweden believes. This is one of them: A couple of years ago, we were driving down the road in East Texas when we saw a sign for “Cowboy Church.” YES, we thought. WE MUST GO. So we headed out there … Read more
We are visiting the U.S. during the 4th of July! We’ve been visiting on the 4th of July for the past few years so I think I can make a prediction of how the evening will go. For those of you who have not experienced a 4th of July in Texas, here’s what it looks … Read more
Here’s how you solve that problem:
These are fried cookie dough balls.
We are visiting my family and friends this summer in the town where I grew up. Half of the town is covered in Exxon chemical plants. The first time my husband saw where I lived, he got so excited and said, “It’s just like Blade Runner!”