Deciphering job ads

I’m looking for something part-time to supplement my translating work.  I like the ads that are straight and to the point.  Too many of them are full of double-speak and fancy wording for menial work.  Let me decipher this for you:

-Provide administrative support and briefings to senior management ( Bring coffee and donuts at the Monday meeting.)

-Organise and coordinate internal and external meetings, preparing agendas, transcribing minutes, reception of visitors  (Book the meeting room, which takes 2 seconds but somehow the “suits” can’t do that on their own, sit in the back with a laptop or pen & paper so we look fancy even though we could just record this and store it in a sound file, sit at the front desk so no one steals our flowers.)

-Support the procurement processes within a specific programme (order paperclips online from Office Depot)

-Perform various other administrative tasks as deemed necessary (We’re gonna need more donuts.)

 

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